We all have choices.....

How does one approach the concept of rehab a second time?  Relearning to walk, again.  Relearning to use my left arm, again.  While there are definite differences this round (i.e. the sensory challenges, and others), it felt crazy that I was going through this again nearly four years later....to the date.  I remember lying in a hospital bed watching the last Winter Olympics while winter storms challenged my husband and family from being able to visit.

Let's be truthful....at the start of last week, I was scared and angry.  No pissed.  I couldn't believe this was happening to me, again.  My thoughts...."wasn't it enough to rehab back from massive blood clots in my lungs and compression of my spinal cord from a tumor?  I did this once.  I can't imagine doing it again!  How am I going to do this again?  And a stroke....?  I don't want to do this again."

While I was on the neuro floor, I let fear, anger, and frustration creep into my mind.  I was fairly sedentary, which is not me at all, and I couldn't see or feel my potential.  What I could see and feel was what was wrong, what felt different, and what wasn't working right.  Fortunately, when the therapists arrived to get my sorry self out of bed, I felt my fight, I felt my strength, and I felt my drive.  I had to make a choice: to fight or not to fight?  Considering all that I have to live for, the question is really not worth asking a second time.

My mind is made up.  The choice is to fight this battle.  To overcome these deficits.  "Good Prognosis" said the Doctors.  Well, good prognosis better mean I'm backpacking in California this August.....because that is just one of my goals...one of many! :)  Choosing to fight certainly doesn't mean that I expect everything to be peachy and perfect because it's not.  I've shed many tears, identified many fears, and vocalized my frustrations.  But, this tremendous therapy team has held my hand through the tears, helped to work through the fears, and provided encouragement when frustrated.  And just as important, they have helped me to laugh daily.  It really is the best medicine!